Sharknado 5 – Review

Sharknado 5 Global Swarming Review

Sharknado 5 Global Swarming was:

PAP

Sharknado 5 Global Swarming Review
Sharknado 5 Global Swarming Review

In a word, pap, compelling, addictive and mind rotting pap.

The annual event of Sharknado films is not so much about the film itself but the social media ‘nado after (and during discussing how pap these films are). But yes, I still watched it and I will probably watch the 6th one.

Now I liked the first Sharnknado film. It knew what it was, a bit of fun. The Asylum are great and I urge you to look up their previous ‘MockBusters’ usually low budget takes on cinema films with very similar titles. Like “Operation Dunkirk, Alien Convergence, Sinister Squad, Atlantic Rim etc. In addition to their Sharkspoitation movies including the Mega Shark and Sharknado movies.

The idea behind all the Sharknado movies is the same. Get a load of cameo appearances by 1980s or Z List celebs and have them munched by the sharks raining down on a city location, whilst trying to ‘homage’ as many other movies as possible, from the odd one liner to a full on rip off. Yes there is more to it than that, but lets face it not much.

I was going to plot through the Sharknado 5 plot, and I suppose it is suitable to state there might be spoilers here as the plot is so thin that it is hard to discuss the movie without revealing the fact that Finn is a prat and causes the ‘world ending’ Sharknado epidemic by removing an artifact from under Stonehenge, for no good reason. Then has his son snatched by the storm which he chases for the rest of the movie and finds he is able to teleport to other locations through the sharknado. Leading to lots of locations, lots of ‘celebrity’ deaths, lots of stating “I am sure I should know who that is” due to the fact they have a tonne of plastic surgery, cannot act and have a small speaking part in the film.

The films climax is a bit baffling and ends up doing a timey wimey ending setting up for Sharknado 6.

 

Now I am sure that with the given budget etc that a little more plotting could be involved without losing the kitch appeal that the film franchise has amassed. I really wanted to like this sequel but I found it painful in places.

Yes I will watch 6 and no I won’t expect any better, but I really HOPE to see better.

 

Now Off to watch THE TRANSMORPHERS

 

 

 

Circus of Horrors

It is a staggering 15 years since the Circus of Horrors first trampled the bloody boards and has since toured relentlessly around the World achieving cult status and generally dragging Circus screaming and shouting into the 21st century and beyond.

This autumn, see?s not 1 but 2 Circus of Horrors spectacular’s take to the road.
The first is a return to THE ASYLUM theme for one final run of dates with what has proved to be the most successful Circus of Horrors show ever.

The Circus of Horrors goes to Blackpool, of course It?s not the first visit to the town but it?s the first visit to this particular venue & the first time they have been there for 9 days over the Halloween period.

The show will be performed for the first time in the round, in a fantastic venue that has previously housed the excellent Amanda Thompson produced show?s Eclipse & Forbidden. The Circus of Horrors will present a specially produced version of THE ASYLUM.

?It was intended to close the doors to the Asylum on the last tour but the chance of performing in such a great venue at such a great time of year was simply too much of a temptation? said Dr Haze.

The show will be retiled THE LAST DAY?S IN THE ASYLUM. It will include loads of act?s never seen in The Circus of Horrors & others making a shock return.
The height of the Globe gives the show a greater chance to use the Ariel acts and will be performed in the round & will have a new set especially for the Asylum shows.

The performance date?s coincide with the half term holidays, the last week of the illuminations & of course Halloween.

The Circus of Horrors ? Last Days in the Asylum
THE GLOBE THEATRE. BLACKPOOL PLEASURE BEACH
FRI OCT 23rd to SAT OCT 31st.
Performances each day at 5pm & 8pm. (except Oct 23rd, 8pm only).
Box Office 0871 2229090. Book online pleasurebeachresort.com
Or TICKETMASTER 0844 2770 666
Tickets.
Vampire VIP Ringside cabaret table & chairs ?22 (only 20 seats available per show)
Front View ?18. Side View ?15. Concessions ?3 off.
People are advised to book in advance to avoid disappointment.

Last days in the Asylum
Set in the late 1800’s in an archaic institution in France. A side show owner, Dr Haze, buy?s the mad house to present his new show to rival the Operetta and soon to be Dance Hall of Decadence ‘Moulin Rouge’.
He sets about liberating the lunatics and slaughter the evil wardens.
While France sleeps the inmates run riot.
Once cleansed , he turns the inmates into his performers to present his new spectacular
?Bloody thirty & Burlesque?
But beware, all is not well and the show ends in an apocalyptic nightmare.
The lunatics have taken over the Asylum.
The crowd favourites as still there but are now entrapped in a Macabre Mad House until they escape and run amok into the Parisian night life. All intermingled & entwined with oddities, fakirs and death defying Circus acts
The Greatest Circus of Horrors show to Date
‘The King Pole;
Totally Unbelievable
‘Scott Mills, Radio 1’
Barnum Would be proud
‘Time Out’
Last Days in the Asylum ? threatens to stimulate all the senses & is set to surpass everything that has come before it.

Then, as the door of the Asylum slams closed forever another one franticly swings opens

THE DAY OF THE DEAD
Following on on the huge success of The Asylum, The Circus of Horrors will undergo a major
revamp with a rocking & shocking brand new show
?The Day of the Dead?. (D?a de los Muerto – A Mexican X? Travaganza).
This time set in Mexico during the early 1900?s, the cast of chasosmongers transport the body
of their doyen Dr Haze to a remote area of Mexico.
Unbeynow to them they settled in a former burial ground of Aztec Warriors.
There they join in the local inhabitants ?Day of the Dead? rituals to try & revive their
esteemed leader.
All of course with disastrous consequences.

Amid a backdrop of an Aztec Temple, Witch-doctors, Voodoo Acrobats, Pickled People,
Bendy Bodies, Demon Dwarfs, and flying Vampires erupting, chained from a tank of
precious bodily fluids, all to perform their amazing stunts.
Once revived, The Undead Ringmaster Doktor Haze will guide you through a hell of a tale with the help
of the live devil driven rock n? roll of the The Interceptors From Hell and a huge uncontrollable
cast of Toltecion Beauties, Curvaceous Creatures, Aztec Warriors, Posada?s Skeletons, Voluptuous
Vampires and some of the worlds greatest, grotesque, most daring & bizarre Circus acts.

Pierrot Bidon, director of the legendary chainsaw slinging Archaos returns to co. direct both of these strange new musical masterpiece in his own inimitable style with shocks, surprises & black humour.

2009. The Day of the Dead ? Alive

WOOKEY HOLE , Thurs 5th Nov 09, Box Office 01749 672 243 www.wookey.co.uk
WORTHING , PAVILION, Fri 6th Nov 09, Box Office 01903 206 206 www.worthingtheatres.co.uk
BARKING , THE BROADWAY, Sat 7th Nov 09, Box Office 02085 075 607 www.thebroadwaybarking.com
CAMBERLEY THEATRE, Mon 9th Nov 09, Box Office 01276 707 600 www.camberleytheatre.biz
REDHILL , HARLEQUIN, Tue 10th Nov 09, Box Office 01737 276 500 www.harlequintheatre.co.uk
SOUTHEND , THE PALACE, Wed 11th & Thurs 12th Nov 09 Box Office 01702 351 135 www.thecliffspavilion.co.uk
IPSWICH , REGENT, Fri 13th Nov 09 Box Office 01473 433 100 www.ipswichregent.com
MARGATE , WINTER GARDENS, Sat 14th Nov 09 Box Office 01843 292 795 www.margatewintergardens.co.uk
GRAVESEND , WOODVILE HALLS, Sun 15th Nov 09 Box Office 01474 337 774 www.gravesham.gov.uk
STAFFORD , THE GATEHOUSE, Mon 16th Nov 09 Box Office 01785 254 653 www.staffordgatehousetheatre.co.uk
BLACKBURN ,KING GEORGE?S HALL, Tues 17th Nov 09 Box Office 08448 471 664/01254 582 582 www.kinggeorgeshall.com
DERBY , ASSEMBLY ROOMS, Wed 18th Nov 09 Box Office 01332 255 800 www.derbylive.co.uk
NEWCASTLE , JOURNAL TYNE THEATRE, Thurs 19th Nov 09 Box Office 08444 939 999 www.thejournaltynetheatre.co.uk
BRADFORD , ST GEORGE?S HALL, Fri 20th Nov 09 Box Office 0127 432 000 www.bradford-theatres.co.uk
WHITBY , PAVILION, Sat 21st Nov Box Office 01947 820 625
MIDDLESBOROUGH , TOWN HALL, Sun 22nd Nov 09 Box Office 01642 729 729 www.middlesborough.gov.uk
WARRINGTON , PARR HALL, Mon 23rd Nov 09 Box office 01925 442 345 www.pyramidparrhall.com
RETFORD , THE MAJESTIC, Tues 24th Nov 09 Box Office 01777 796 866 www.majestictheatre.co.uk
ABERDARE , COLISEUM, Thurs 26th Nov 09 Box Office 01685 881 188 www.rct-arts.org
REDDITCH , PALACE, Fri 27th Nov 09 Box Office 0152 765 203 www.redditchpalacetheatre.co.uk
WESTON SUPER MARE , PLAYHOUSE, Sat 28th Nov 09 Box Office 01934 645 544 www.theplayhouse.co.uk

2010. The Day of the Dead ? Alive & 15 year celebrations.

TRURO , THE HALL FOR CORNWALL, Fri 8th & Sat 9th Jan 10 Box Office 01872 262 466 www.thehallforcornwall.co.uk
YEOVIL , THE OCTAGON, Sun 10th Jan 10 Box Office 01935 422 884 www.octagon-theatre.co.uk
WIMBORNE , THE TIVOLI, Mon 11th Jan 10 Box Office 01202 88 55 66 www.tivoliwimborne.co.uk
HULL, NEW THEATRE. Thurs 21st Jan 2010 Box Office 01482 226 655 www.hullcc.gov.uk/hullnewtheatre