Sharknado 5 – Review

Sharknado 5 Global Swarming Review

Sharknado 5 Global Swarming was:

PAP

Sharknado 5 Global Swarming Review
Sharknado 5 Global Swarming Review

In a word, pap, compelling, addictive and mind rotting pap.

The annual event of Sharknado films is not so much about the film itself but the social media ‘nado after (and during discussing how pap these films are). But yes, I still watched it and I will probably watch the 6th one.

Now I liked the first Sharnknado film. It knew what it was, a bit of fun. The Asylum are great and I urge you to look up their previous ‘MockBusters’ usually low budget takes on cinema films with very similar titles. Like “Operation Dunkirk, Alien Convergence, Sinister Squad, Atlantic Rim etc. In addition to their Sharkspoitation movies including the Mega Shark and Sharknado movies.

The idea behind all the Sharknado movies is the same. Get a load of cameo appearances by 1980s or Z List celebs and have them munched by the sharks raining down on a city location, whilst trying to ‘homage’ as many other movies as possible, from the odd one liner to a full on rip off. Yes there is more to it than that, but lets face it not much.

I was going to plot through the Sharknado 5 plot, and I suppose it is suitable to state there might be spoilers here as the plot is so thin that it is hard to discuss the movie without revealing the fact that Finn is a prat and causes the ‘world ending’ Sharknado epidemic by removing an artifact from under Stonehenge, for no good reason. Then has his son snatched by the storm which he chases for the rest of the movie and finds he is able to teleport to other locations through the sharknado. Leading to lots of locations, lots of ‘celebrity’ deaths, lots of stating “I am sure I should know who that is” due to the fact they have a tonne of plastic surgery, cannot act and have a small speaking part in the film.

The films climax is a bit baffling and ends up doing a timey wimey ending setting up for Sharknado 6.

 

Now I am sure that with the given budget etc that a little more plotting could be involved without losing the kitch appeal that the film franchise has amassed. I really wanted to like this sequel but I found it painful in places.

Yes I will watch 6 and no I won’t expect any better, but I really HOPE to see better.

 

Now Off to watch THE TRANSMORPHERS

 

 

 

Sharknado 4 The Fourth Awakens – Review.

Sharknado The 4th Awakens
Sharknado The 4th Awakens
Yes I know it was on the other week. The problem is that I haven’t been able to sum up in words how amazingly bad this carcrash of a movie is.

But that’s the point isn’t it?

Well for the first movie it was, taking the so bad-it’s-good approach to low (ish) budget direct for TV monster movie worked. As it had done for a number of other movies before it from producers The Asylum.

In the first movie they had a tornado filled with sharks in California, the sequel relocated the action but just shifted the background. The third opted for a theme park. Aside from the space stuff in the third, they all essentially had the ending, which I won’t give away here.

With this fourth movie in the windy shark filled movie series it makes me thing that the producers just full on panicked, I can just imagine that meeting.

Top Studio Executive: “So we have done a tornado full of sharks 3 times before, all the films have made money so we need to keep riding this wave, but even our viewers will get tired of this. What can we do to change it?”

Executive 1: “What about a dust storm full or sharks?”

Executive 2: “What about a fire storm full of sharks?”

Executive 3: “What about an electrical storm full of sharks?”

Executive 4: “What about a radioactive Sharknado?”

Lots of time and drinks later…

Top Studio Executive: “Sod it, there is no way we will be allowed to do another one, just chuck it all in. Also didn’t they just make another terminator movie? Is there a way we can rip that off also?”

Obviously my insider knowledge of the process for this movie is a big fat zero and that was conjecture, should the production team want to fly me over there and show me what really happens there is a contact page on Scifind.com!

Look. I have even refrained from using any images from the program as the PR company for the SyFy channel hadn’t ventured anything forth.

Ok. So I haven’t gone into the plot, simply as there is little tying this together apart from nonsensical set pieces, bad special effects and blatant cameos (many of which I didn’t get being British, but they were obviously being paraded not quite with a sign above their head saying “look who this is”).

In summary Sharknado 4 The Forth Awakens is the worst film of the bunch, but is still strangely compelling, and I will be tuning in for the fifth should it ever be made.

Sharknado 4 Title and Air Date

Sharknado The 4th Awakens
Sharknado The 4th Awakens

Yes it is true. The next Sharknado movie is subtitles Sharknado The 4th Awakens.

Great Star Wars pun? I have typed it 3 times now and am already bored of it.

Syfy has announced the premier date for the fourth instalment of the Sharknado franchise, Sharknado: The 4th Awakens. In the USA anyway it will be Sunday, July 31 at 8 p.m. ET. I am sure it won’t be long after that that us Brits get it.

Sharknado 4 (I won’t use that sub title again) follows five years after the events of Sharknado 3 (Oh Hell No! I so much prefer that title). But after a period of calm the sharks filled whirl winds are back. Obviously.

Tara Reid will reprise her role as April, revealing the character’s fate after fans voted to decide whether she lives or dies in the sequel. Oh yes we did that didn’t we. I know how I voted.

Sharknado The 4th Awakens
Sharknado The 4th Awakens